Second day and still in weekend mode. It took a while to get the bus into town. I did see if the local shop had raisins for my son to take to school, but they didn't and often the plans we have change. I stopped bitching about things now, as what's the point?
The weekend was so good to catch up and was feeling anxious about it, and there were people I would have wished have spoken to, but couldn't find the courage to do so, and now going over it in my head of what I should have done and said.
These were people I hadn't seen in years. We catch up on Facebook, but there were people I don't but was good to see them again. I glad it was still a good party and not sure if we will get to meet up again. Those who I did speak to, talked about meeting up. I hope it happens, and not been out for a long time, so if felt good in doing so.
As a teenager I started to do my own thing, and my confidence grew, and not be with my parents all the time. We played out on the estate where I lived and made sure we stayed safe, created places to pretend they were our homes and loved imaginary play. My bestfriend was a girl named Hayley and we would play top of the pops, school teachers and mothers with out dollies, and our dream was to have a house together with a room just for our barbies. That never happened, but it is good to make up those dreams and my son pretends he is doing the commentary as he kicks the ball. My confidence was always there and thought as an adult all my insecurities would go, but not the case.
So going to do more to build my social skills and not be so self conscious and have my courage back to talk and chat to people. Have you felt like this? Please leave a comment below.
Self growth is important and we can lose a lot of ourselves as we continue to leave, but I am now in the mindset of I can be that person again, who can really be the life and soul of the party and not hold back, as you may never get the chance.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
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